25 new things at 25!

So, as I sit on my (new) couches... realizing I am not getting any younger... and encouraged by my incredible aunt... I realize... I can fight and resist these crazy changes that have come into my life... or I can embrace them... I feel like 25 is sooo old... I am a quarter of a century old!! And I am a numbers person!! So to commemorate and remember this year... I am going to do 25 new things while I am 25... I already have 3 done... and I'm sure I could sit here and think of 25 but really... that takes away the challenge right? So here are my first 3...


1. Move into my very own home!!!

Well, it's mine and my fiances' but thats it!! It is ours! No one elses!!! It is such a crazy incredible and overwhelming feeling knowing it is all yours!


2. Write Calculus lesson plans

This is terrifying! I am so scared of how these students will learn this stuff! But I am trusting God... I asked Him not to give me the position unless I was fully capable... and in one month I am starting the position... so He believes in me even when I don't believe in myself!


3. Raise my very own puppy!

My wonderful fiance bought me a puppy for my birthday and it has been incredible becoming a parent... I love her! we love each other!!! It is wonderful!


22 more to go!!! Pics will be added later!!

Thankful

As I sit here... watching my students take their finals... some of whom I will never see again since they won't show up on Friday... I am feeling thankful... thankful for so many aspects in life some that I never expected to be thankful for... and some that I can't help but always be thankful for... but needless to say... thankful... (since I am thankful for lists... I will do them in a list order that has no particular order haha)
1. Thankful for a Savior who is full of grace... although I really struggle with understanding grace as I do not feel I have been shown what grace is... I am thankful that somehow... in some way... I can go to my Savior at any time... any place... no matter what I've done... and he loves me... that my friend TRIPS ME OUT!! I pray one day I will understand at least enough about grace to stop constantly beating myself up
2. Thankful for this crazy group of students that God has blessed me with this year... There are times when I've come home laughing... times when I've come home crying... times when I've wanted to rip their heads off... times when I've wanted to just hug them and promise them things will be ok... times when I've wanted to live life for them... times when I've stayed up at night because I am terrified of the decisions they are making at that moment (like prom haha)... times when I've felt I couldn't go on... and times when I've wished this school year would never end... This was an awesome group of students... I hate knowing that I am not going to know what they are going to grow up to be... I hate knowing that I have made some of them hate math... but I love knowing that I have helped some of them get through moments in their lives that they didn't know possible... I pray that God put his protecting hand over this group of students... and as they walk away from school they know that I loved them dearly... there will never be another group of students who touched my heart the way the students of Centennial did this year
3. I am thankful for friends... all of my friends have helped me become the person I am today... but in particular today I am thankful for Kelli Rose Galippo... This past week has been INCREDIBLY rough... and she is the person who I text Sunday night... late at night... to ask if we can do coffee together... and (like always) she says yes... and when we go to coffee all of a sudden I am a normal person again... I can be completely transparant with her and she only loves me more and reminds me that I'm normal... she is struggling with or has struggled with or understands the struggles I am going through... at times when I have felt the most like I am going through life completely alone she is there to hug me and love me and just remind me that I am normal... and that life isn't easy but it is doable... I pray a prayer of thankfulness for Kelli and for all of my friends... the Lord has truly blessed me with the greatest friends ever... the people in my life are God-ordained and it shows to the core!
4. Thankful for my family... especially my sisters... I don't know where I would be without them... I have got to live this whole life with Teen... we have driven each other crazy at times... and been the only person keeping us driving through life at times... words cannot even express what she means to me... I love her dearly... and am going to miss her dearly these next six weeks... but I am thankful for a Lord who is faithful... and for cell phones and skype :]... I pray for the people group she will work with in the future... she may know next to nothing about them yet... but the Lord knows everything... I pray that He has already begun and will continue to prepare their hearts for the most important message of all that He will bring... through my sister!!! (crazy)
5. I am thankful for Tami... Not everyone knows the story of her timing... but God totally blessed us with her... my mom had 2 miscarraiges before T came... and I questioned God ALOT about why He let that happen to us... well it all made sense the day I lost my dad... It was just like the movies... I fell to my knees... screaming... and questioning God... Tami... at 3 years of age... came over and wrapped her lil body around me and held me... when I started getting sick to my stomach Teen took her outside to swing... and Tami told her she would share her daddy with us... then she came into me... and said something so cute, silly, and simple... that I will never forget... she came in with a bowl of goldfish and said "Goldfish take the tears away"... gotta tell you... goldfish may not have helped that day... but the love of a 3 year old sure did... she has done nothing but continuously amaze me, bless me, and at times been the only reason I could go one more day... I may not have known what God was doing with her... but He sure did know... I pray for provisions over her entire life... she is so young and being exposed to so much... I pray that she can keep on the straight and narrow... and that we as a family can be good consistent examples into her precious life
6. I am thankful for Mary... I just finished reading unafraid and Mary was incredible... she had emmense faith... and allowed God to use her in the most rewarding... but SCARY way possible! I pray that one day I can have even a sliver of the faith and obedience that she had...
7. I am thankful for Javier... I am thankful that God blessed me with a man who is striving after His own heart so deeply... the LEAST expected of all people! He desires to serve me in every way possible... I can't wait to marry that man one day! I pray that I can learn to love and care for this man in the way God has intended for me to and continue to fall more in love with his with each passing day!

That is what thoughts are on my mind right now... and am excited to see how God uses those thoughts in the near future!!

So... The summer is nearing... and although I should be going to bed since I do have to teach in the morning... I have been thinking about blogging all day... I have realized that I keep trying to push my life forward... to become the adult they say I'm supposed to be... without taking into account the blessing of the state I'm at right now... all I can think about is having my own classroom... but God showed me today that I have the rest of my life to have a classroom! I need to be thankful for the place he has put me in... a place where I can enjoy my summer... get a job if I want to... but not have to... so with this new perspective I have some summer goals... Which I will add to as they come... but for now... in no particular order...

1. Get at 'A' in my masters class

2. READ READ READ

3. Learn how to make fondant cakes

4. daily quiet times

5. work out

6. learn how to cook 3 things well

7. appreciate the beach

8. go through my storage unit... which will bring about more healing... and less frustration :]

With the new blessed feeling... as I write my list I get this overwhelming feeling about summer... here I have counted down the days... but as they are getting nearer a feeling of sadness comes over me as well... I remember praying after I left San Bernardino for God to give me a love for students again... he has used Centennial to fulfill that desire... and when I am real with myself... I am going to miss them sooo much (just won't miss waking up early)... I am so thankful for this past year with this amazing group of students... and... on my last day... the 17th... I am going to write a list of my favorite moments with them :] but for now... I really need to get to bed

me

So here I get started on this blog thing... not because I am naive enough to think that people care about my life... but quite frankly cause I'm bored out of my mind. So random facts about me...

[I have an amazing boyfriend who is also my best friend]

[I have the two greatest sisters anyone could ever as for]

[I am an incredibly broken person... who is striving to figure out how God wants me to take my pain and use it for his glory]

[I love Chamoy]

[Demi Lavato is my favorite singer at the moment]

[I miss college so much... I had the best roomies and best memories you could ask for given the circumstances]

[I want to be married so bad but I'm terrified to... part of the reason for that is cause I know nothing in my power can make my dad be there]

[For that same reason I think when the time comes I will want to back out when it comes to having babies]

[I have the Samsung Memoir and I love it]

[I can sit and watch shows about murder all day]

[I love the color brown]

[I got a math degree and then realized the only math I like is high school level and below]

[Growing up my great-grandma was my best friend]