Thankful

As I sit here... watching my students take their finals... some of whom I will never see again since they won't show up on Friday... I am feeling thankful... thankful for so many aspects in life some that I never expected to be thankful for... and some that I can't help but always be thankful for... but needless to say... thankful... (since I am thankful for lists... I will do them in a list order that has no particular order haha)
1. Thankful for a Savior who is full of grace... although I really struggle with understanding grace as I do not feel I have been shown what grace is... I am thankful that somehow... in some way... I can go to my Savior at any time... any place... no matter what I've done... and he loves me... that my friend TRIPS ME OUT!! I pray one day I will understand at least enough about grace to stop constantly beating myself up
2. Thankful for this crazy group of students that God has blessed me with this year... There are times when I've come home laughing... times when I've come home crying... times when I've wanted to rip their heads off... times when I've wanted to just hug them and promise them things will be ok... times when I've wanted to live life for them... times when I've stayed up at night because I am terrified of the decisions they are making at that moment (like prom haha)... times when I've felt I couldn't go on... and times when I've wished this school year would never end... This was an awesome group of students... I hate knowing that I am not going to know what they are going to grow up to be... I hate knowing that I have made some of them hate math... but I love knowing that I have helped some of them get through moments in their lives that they didn't know possible... I pray that God put his protecting hand over this group of students... and as they walk away from school they know that I loved them dearly... there will never be another group of students who touched my heart the way the students of Centennial did this year
3. I am thankful for friends... all of my friends have helped me become the person I am today... but in particular today I am thankful for Kelli Rose Galippo... This past week has been INCREDIBLY rough... and she is the person who I text Sunday night... late at night... to ask if we can do coffee together... and (like always) she says yes... and when we go to coffee all of a sudden I am a normal person again... I can be completely transparant with her and she only loves me more and reminds me that I'm normal... she is struggling with or has struggled with or understands the struggles I am going through... at times when I have felt the most like I am going through life completely alone she is there to hug me and love me and just remind me that I am normal... and that life isn't easy but it is doable... I pray a prayer of thankfulness for Kelli and for all of my friends... the Lord has truly blessed me with the greatest friends ever... the people in my life are God-ordained and it shows to the core!
4. Thankful for my family... especially my sisters... I don't know where I would be without them... I have got to live this whole life with Teen... we have driven each other crazy at times... and been the only person keeping us driving through life at times... words cannot even express what she means to me... I love her dearly... and am going to miss her dearly these next six weeks... but I am thankful for a Lord who is faithful... and for cell phones and skype :]... I pray for the people group she will work with in the future... she may know next to nothing about them yet... but the Lord knows everything... I pray that He has already begun and will continue to prepare their hearts for the most important message of all that He will bring... through my sister!!! (crazy)
5. I am thankful for Tami... Not everyone knows the story of her timing... but God totally blessed us with her... my mom had 2 miscarraiges before T came... and I questioned God ALOT about why He let that happen to us... well it all made sense the day I lost my dad... It was just like the movies... I fell to my knees... screaming... and questioning God... Tami... at 3 years of age... came over and wrapped her lil body around me and held me... when I started getting sick to my stomach Teen took her outside to swing... and Tami told her she would share her daddy with us... then she came into me... and said something so cute, silly, and simple... that I will never forget... she came in with a bowl of goldfish and said "Goldfish take the tears away"... gotta tell you... goldfish may not have helped that day... but the love of a 3 year old sure did... she has done nothing but continuously amaze me, bless me, and at times been the only reason I could go one more day... I may not have known what God was doing with her... but He sure did know... I pray for provisions over her entire life... she is so young and being exposed to so much... I pray that she can keep on the straight and narrow... and that we as a family can be good consistent examples into her precious life
6. I am thankful for Mary... I just finished reading unafraid and Mary was incredible... she had emmense faith... and allowed God to use her in the most rewarding... but SCARY way possible! I pray that one day I can have even a sliver of the faith and obedience that she had...
7. I am thankful for Javier... I am thankful that God blessed me with a man who is striving after His own heart so deeply... the LEAST expected of all people! He desires to serve me in every way possible... I can't wait to marry that man one day! I pray that I can learn to love and care for this man in the way God has intended for me to and continue to fall more in love with his with each passing day!

That is what thoughts are on my mind right now... and am excited to see how God uses those thoughts in the near future!!